I simply want to get rid of all non critical Microsoft programs from Windows 10.

They've made it incredibly difficult to permanently kill Defender and One Drive. Even after they are removed, you'll still get Ads.

There must be a script or tool to ease the suffering that comes with a new Windows 10 install.

Update 2018: These break semi frequently as MS has been neutering Group Policies let me know in comments if somethings broken or submit edits

As no program like that exists, here are the steps for everything you need. This will result in a quite clean Windows 10 Pro, without OneDrive, Defender, Candy Crush, Bing or annoying security warnings. The key is to master windows Group Policies. Some of these require windows Enterprise edition, but there are registry hacks that may achieve the same result.

Cortana Taskbar Search

You can remove the bar by right clicking it and selecting hidden.

Change default search engine on Edge Browser

1. Go to Google.com.


2. click on the browser settings


3. click Advanced Settings


4. Click "Change search engine". For some inexplicable reason this takes a while... not the case in every other browser.

Disable Bing search on Start Menu

It is no longer possible to change the search engine in the start menu search bar:
http://www.theverge.com/2016/4/28/11532474/windows-10-block-google-search-cortana-bing-edge
The best we can do is disable web search in it.

1. open the Local Group Policy Editor. You can run it by searching "edit group policy" in the start menu.


2. Go to "Local Computer PolicyComputer ConfigurationAdministrative TemplatesWindows ComponentsSearch"


3. Enable "Do not allow web search"


4. Disable "Allow Cortana"

Disable OneDrive and remove it from File Explorer

1. Run the uninstall command form the "Command Prompt" https://superuser.com/a/1033668/40974
   

Disable Windows Defender

1. open the Local Group Policy Editor. You can run it by searching "edit group policy" in the start menu.


2. Go to "Local Computer PolicyComputer ConfigurationAdministrative TemplatesWindows ComponentsWindows Defender"


3. Enable the "Turn off Windows Defender Policy"


4. Click the no AV alert


5. Click "Turn Off notifications about A.V."

Remove and prevent Candy Crush and other Windows Store spam from installing

http://winaero.com/blog/fix-windows-10-installs-apps-like-candy-crush-soda-saga-automatically/

1. open the Local Group Policy Editor. You can run it by searching "edit group policy" in the start menu.


2. Go to "Local Computer PolicyComputer ConfigurationAdministrative TemplatesWindows ComponentsConsumerContent"


3. Enable the "Turn off Consumer Content"

Uninstall People, Food, Messaging etc:

https://windows.gadgethacks.com/how-to/goodbye-bloatware-remove-all-preinstalled-crapware-from-window-10-0164605/

Disable ads from Windows 10 lock screen

https://www.howtogeek.com/243263/how-to-disable-ads-on-your-windows-10-lock-screen/

1. Go to "Start -> Settings -> Personalisation -> lock screen"


2. Set the lockscreen to picture or slideshow, NOT Windows Spotlight


3. Disable "Get fun facts, tips, tricks and more on your lockscreen"

Finishing touches

1. Restart.


2. Optionally, run the https://github.com/W4RH4WK/Debloat-Windows-10 scripts, they make very robust global changes that prevent spam from coming back, even for new users!

1. Way to globally nuke windows store. http://www.urtech.ca/2015/09/solved-how-to-disable-the-store-app-in-windows-10/
   

There are a number of tools that will remove some of the bloatware that is preinstalled on most Windows PC's, such as PC Decrapifier and alternatives.

Uninstalling OneDrive is a bit more complex, and may pose complications if you registered Windows using the on-line password option. You can remove OneDrive using the Command line.. First kill any active OneDrive process, then (for a 64-bit system), enter:

%SystemRoot%SysWOW64OneDriveSetup.exe /uninstall

Defender, however, should not be removed directly -- instead, install almost any anti-malware suite, such as Avast!, Kaspersky etc. This will disable Defender, get rid of MS warnings that your system is unprotected, and ensure that your are not leaving the system wide open to malware. See PC Mag for one set of AV reviews.