Big chungus has come to eat the universe: What can we do?












-1












$begingroup$



What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
eat the universe?




Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



class Chungus {
constructor(size) {
this.size = size;
}

eat(objectName) {
delete window[objectName];

return 0xdeadbeef;
}
}

// let's make him extra shiny
const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

window.parallelUniverse = null;

// make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
try {
window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
} catch(e) {
window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
}

// and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

// big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
console.log(window);

// restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
window.close();


Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.









share







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$endgroup$

















    -1












    $begingroup$



    What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
    eat the universe?




    Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



    class Chungus {
    constructor(size) {
    this.size = size;
    }

    eat(objectName) {
    delete window[objectName];

    return 0xdeadbeef;
    }
    }

    // let's make him extra shiny
    const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

    window.parallelUniverse = null;

    // make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
    try {
    window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
    } catch(e) {
    window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
    }

    // and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
    void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

    // big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
    console.log(window);

    // restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
    window.close();


    Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
    After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



    Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



    This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.









    share







    New contributor




    NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
    Check out our Code of Conduct.







    $endgroup$















      -1












      -1








      -1





      $begingroup$



      What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
      eat the universe?




      Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



      class Chungus {
      constructor(size) {
      this.size = size;
      }

      eat(objectName) {
      delete window[objectName];

      return 0xdeadbeef;
      }
      }

      // let's make him extra shiny
      const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

      window.parallelUniverse = null;

      // make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
      try {
      window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
      } catch(e) {
      window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
      }

      // and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
      void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

      // big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
      console.log(window);

      // restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
      window.close();


      Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
      After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



      Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



      This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.









      share







      New contributor




      NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
      Check out our Code of Conduct.







      $endgroup$





      What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
      eat the universe?




      Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



      class Chungus {
      constructor(size) {
      this.size = size;
      }

      eat(objectName) {
      delete window[objectName];

      return 0xdeadbeef;
      }
      }

      // let's make him extra shiny
      const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

      window.parallelUniverse = null;

      // make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
      try {
      window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
      } catch(e) {
      window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
      }

      // and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
      void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

      // big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
      console.log(window);

      // restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
      window.close();


      Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
      After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



      Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



      This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.







      javascript





      share







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      NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
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      share







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      share



      share






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      asked 5 mins ago









      NULLPOINTER99NULLPOINTER99

      1




      1




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          $begingroup$

          I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



          Let's try addressing the problem directly.



          malloc((int) BigChungus);


          Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
          What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



          Secondly, we need to do better.



          Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



          No.



          Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



          OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


          And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



          global _main
          extern _GetStdHandle@4
          extern _WriteFile@20
          extern _ExitProcess@4

          section .text
          _main:
          ; DWORD bytes;
          mov ebp, esp
          sub esp, 4

          ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
          push -11
          call _GetStdHandle@4
          mov ebx, eax

          ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
          push 0
          lea eax, [ebp-4]
          push eax
          push (message_end - message)
          push message
          push ebx
          call _WriteFile@20

          ; ExitProcess(0)
          push 0
          call _ExitProcess@4

          ; never here
          hlt
          message:
          db 'Big Chungus!', 10
          message_end:


          Eureka, SUCCESS!





          share








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          NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
          Check out our Code of Conduct.






          $endgroup$













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            0












            $begingroup$

            I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



            Let's try addressing the problem directly.



            malloc((int) BigChungus);


            Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
            What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



            Secondly, we need to do better.



            Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



            No.



            Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



            OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


            And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



            global _main
            extern _GetStdHandle@4
            extern _WriteFile@20
            extern _ExitProcess@4

            section .text
            _main:
            ; DWORD bytes;
            mov ebp, esp
            sub esp, 4

            ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
            push -11
            call _GetStdHandle@4
            mov ebx, eax

            ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
            push 0
            lea eax, [ebp-4]
            push eax
            push (message_end - message)
            push message
            push ebx
            call _WriteFile@20

            ; ExitProcess(0)
            push 0
            call _ExitProcess@4

            ; never here
            hlt
            message:
            db 'Big Chungus!', 10
            message_end:


            Eureka, SUCCESS!





            share








            New contributor




            NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
            Check out our Code of Conduct.






            $endgroup$


















              0












              $begingroup$

              I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



              Let's try addressing the problem directly.



              malloc((int) BigChungus);


              Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
              What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



              Secondly, we need to do better.



              Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



              No.



              Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



              OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


              And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



              global _main
              extern _GetStdHandle@4
              extern _WriteFile@20
              extern _ExitProcess@4

              section .text
              _main:
              ; DWORD bytes;
              mov ebp, esp
              sub esp, 4

              ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
              push -11
              call _GetStdHandle@4
              mov ebx, eax

              ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
              push 0
              lea eax, [ebp-4]
              push eax
              push (message_end - message)
              push message
              push ebx
              call _WriteFile@20

              ; ExitProcess(0)
              push 0
              call _ExitProcess@4

              ; never here
              hlt
              message:
              db 'Big Chungus!', 10
              message_end:


              Eureka, SUCCESS!





              share








              New contributor




              NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
              Check out our Code of Conduct.






              $endgroup$
















                0












                0








                0





                $begingroup$

                I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



                Let's try addressing the problem directly.



                malloc((int) BigChungus);


                Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
                What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



                Secondly, we need to do better.



                Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



                No.



                Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



                OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


                And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



                global _main
                extern _GetStdHandle@4
                extern _WriteFile@20
                extern _ExitProcess@4

                section .text
                _main:
                ; DWORD bytes;
                mov ebp, esp
                sub esp, 4

                ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
                push -11
                call _GetStdHandle@4
                mov ebx, eax

                ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
                push 0
                lea eax, [ebp-4]
                push eax
                push (message_end - message)
                push message
                push ebx
                call _WriteFile@20

                ; ExitProcess(0)
                push 0
                call _ExitProcess@4

                ; never here
                hlt
                message:
                db 'Big Chungus!', 10
                message_end:


                Eureka, SUCCESS!





                share








                New contributor




                NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                Check out our Code of Conduct.






                $endgroup$



                I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



                Let's try addressing the problem directly.



                malloc((int) BigChungus);


                Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
                What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



                Secondly, we need to do better.



                Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



                No.



                Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



                OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


                And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



                global _main
                extern _GetStdHandle@4
                extern _WriteFile@20
                extern _ExitProcess@4

                section .text
                _main:
                ; DWORD bytes;
                mov ebp, esp
                sub esp, 4

                ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
                push -11
                call _GetStdHandle@4
                mov ebx, eax

                ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
                push 0
                lea eax, [ebp-4]
                push eax
                push (message_end - message)
                push message
                push ebx
                call _WriteFile@20

                ; ExitProcess(0)
                push 0
                call _ExitProcess@4

                ; never here
                hlt
                message:
                db 'Big Chungus!', 10
                message_end:


                Eureka, SUCCESS!






                share








                New contributor




                NULLPOINTER99 is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
                Check out our Code of Conduct.








                share


                share






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                answered 4 mins ago









                NULLPOINTER99NULLPOINTER99

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