Avoiding repetition when there are two unidentified individuals












4
















The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. The tall figure moved to the opposite side of the room
and started palpating the wall as if it was looking for something. The
skinny figure then started crawling and palpating the floor as if it
were looking something. The tall figure then started laughing loudly
and clapping his hands as if it were overjoyed. The skinny figure
hearing this started doing the same.




How do I minimize the amount of repetition? Is there a way of doing this without changing drastically the sentences? What would you suggest? As you can see, I used "it" immediately after using the adjective-noun pairs but, when I switch person, I have no choice but to use the appropriate adjective-noun pair.










share|improve this question









New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





















  • Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

    – Cyn
    2 hours ago











  • I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

    – repomonster
    2 hours ago











  • It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

    – Cyn
    1 hour ago
















4
















The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. The tall figure moved to the opposite side of the room
and started palpating the wall as if it was looking for something. The
skinny figure then started crawling and palpating the floor as if it
were looking something. The tall figure then started laughing loudly
and clapping his hands as if it were overjoyed. The skinny figure
hearing this started doing the same.




How do I minimize the amount of repetition? Is there a way of doing this without changing drastically the sentences? What would you suggest? As you can see, I used "it" immediately after using the adjective-noun pairs but, when I switch person, I have no choice but to use the appropriate adjective-noun pair.










share|improve this question









New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





















  • Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

    – Cyn
    2 hours ago











  • I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

    – repomonster
    2 hours ago











  • It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

    – Cyn
    1 hour ago














4












4








4









The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. The tall figure moved to the opposite side of the room
and started palpating the wall as if it was looking for something. The
skinny figure then started crawling and palpating the floor as if it
were looking something. The tall figure then started laughing loudly
and clapping his hands as if it were overjoyed. The skinny figure
hearing this started doing the same.




How do I minimize the amount of repetition? Is there a way of doing this without changing drastically the sentences? What would you suggest? As you can see, I used "it" immediately after using the adjective-noun pairs but, when I switch person, I have no choice but to use the appropriate adjective-noun pair.










share|improve this question









New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.













The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. The tall figure moved to the opposite side of the room
and started palpating the wall as if it was looking for something. The
skinny figure then started crawling and palpating the floor as if it
were looking something. The tall figure then started laughing loudly
and clapping his hands as if it were overjoyed. The skinny figure
hearing this started doing the same.




How do I minimize the amount of repetition? Is there a way of doing this without changing drastically the sentences? What would you suggest? As you can see, I used "it" immediately after using the adjective-noun pairs but, when I switch person, I have no choice but to use the appropriate adjective-noun pair.







characters description naming






share|improve this question









New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question









New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 3 hours ago









Cyn

6,8871740




6,8871740






New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









asked 3 hours ago









repomonsterrepomonster

213




213




New contributor




repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





New contributor





repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






repomonster is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.













  • Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

    – Cyn
    2 hours ago











  • I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

    – repomonster
    2 hours ago











  • It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

    – Cyn
    1 hour ago



















  • Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

    – Cyn
    2 hours ago











  • I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

    – repomonster
    2 hours ago











  • It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

    – Cyn
    1 hour ago

















Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

– Cyn
2 hours ago





Hey repomonster, I'm really glad you liked my answer. I will encourage you though to hold off on choosing a "best answer" for a day or two. This gives other people a chance to answer too, which is of course your goal, to have as many answers as possible. You have enough rep now that you can upvote it, which I hope you will do instead. If you still like my answer best in a couple days, I'd be pleased if you choose it as "best" then. Thanks!

– Cyn
2 hours ago













I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

– repomonster
2 hours ago





I was thinking the same, but I thought you may become impatient and so I decided to just give it to you, but I guess I don't have to worry about it, because even if I don't choose it gets eventually chosen by the people in the community.

– repomonster
2 hours ago













It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

– Cyn
1 hour ago





It's only been an hour. I know that's forever on the internet but :-) Don't worry, it's okay to take your time choosing. But upvotes are always welcome. And you can upvote all the answers you get if you want. Do go ahead and choose a best answer eventually, for those questions you ask that have one you think is worthy. That will pop you up a couple points too.

– Cyn
1 hour ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















4














You have a few choices here:



1. You can group each person's actions together more (I've also edited a couple errors).




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room then moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating
the wall, as if it was looking for something. Then it started
laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were overjoyed.



The skinny figure sat right beside the tall one on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. It then started crawling and palpating the floor as if
it were looking for something. When the tall figure was laughing and
clapping the skinny figure started doing the same.




2. You can name the characters. If you don't want to use real names, try the characteristics.




Tall was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the room.
Skinny right beside it sat on a chair. It wasn't moving at all. Tall
moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating the wall
as if it was looking for something. Skinny then started crawling and
palpating the floor as if it were looking for something. Tall then
started laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were
overjoyed. Skinny hearing this started doing the same.




3. You can make them different genders. Instead of making them both "it" (with some accidental? "he" in there), make one "he" and one "she."




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. He stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. She wasn't
moving at all. He moved to the opposite side of the room and started
palpating the wall as if he was looking for something. She then
started crawling and palpating the floor as if she were looking for
something. He then started laughing loudly and clapping his hands as
if he were overjoyed. Hearing this, she started doing the same.







share|improve this answer
























  • I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

    – Ed Grimm
    58 mins ago











  • @EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

    – Cyn
    10 mins ago











Your Answer








StackExchange.ready(function() {
var channelOptions = {
tags: "".split(" "),
id: "166"
};
initTagRenderer("".split(" "), "".split(" "), channelOptions);

StackExchange.using("externalEditor", function() {
// Have to fire editor after snippets, if snippets enabled
if (StackExchange.settings.snippets.snippetsEnabled) {
StackExchange.using("snippets", function() {
createEditor();
});
}
else {
createEditor();
}
});

function createEditor() {
StackExchange.prepareEditor({
heartbeatType: 'answer',
autoActivateHeartbeat: false,
convertImagesToLinks: false,
noModals: true,
showLowRepImageUploadWarning: true,
reputationToPostImages: null,
bindNavPrevention: true,
postfix: "",
imageUploader: {
brandingHtml: "Powered by u003ca class="icon-imgur-white" href="https://imgur.com/"u003eu003c/au003e",
contentPolicyHtml: "User contributions licensed under u003ca href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/"u003ecc by-sa 3.0 with attribution requiredu003c/au003e u003ca href="https://stackoverflow.com/legal/content-policy"u003e(content policy)u003c/au003e",
allowUrls: true
},
noCode: true, onDemand: true,
discardSelector: ".discard-answer"
,immediatelyShowMarkdownHelp:true
});


}
});






repomonster is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.










draft saved

draft discarded


















StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fwriting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f41557%2favoiding-repetition-when-there-are-two-unidentified-individuals%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);

Post as a guest















Required, but never shown

























1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









4














You have a few choices here:



1. You can group each person's actions together more (I've also edited a couple errors).




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room then moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating
the wall, as if it was looking for something. Then it started
laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were overjoyed.



The skinny figure sat right beside the tall one on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. It then started crawling and palpating the floor as if
it were looking for something. When the tall figure was laughing and
clapping the skinny figure started doing the same.




2. You can name the characters. If you don't want to use real names, try the characteristics.




Tall was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the room.
Skinny right beside it sat on a chair. It wasn't moving at all. Tall
moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating the wall
as if it was looking for something. Skinny then started crawling and
palpating the floor as if it were looking for something. Tall then
started laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were
overjoyed. Skinny hearing this started doing the same.




3. You can make them different genders. Instead of making them both "it" (with some accidental? "he" in there), make one "he" and one "she."




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. He stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. She wasn't
moving at all. He moved to the opposite side of the room and started
palpating the wall as if he was looking for something. She then
started crawling and palpating the floor as if she were looking for
something. He then started laughing loudly and clapping his hands as
if he were overjoyed. Hearing this, she started doing the same.







share|improve this answer
























  • I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

    – Ed Grimm
    58 mins ago











  • @EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

    – Cyn
    10 mins ago
















4














You have a few choices here:



1. You can group each person's actions together more (I've also edited a couple errors).




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room then moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating
the wall, as if it was looking for something. Then it started
laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were overjoyed.



The skinny figure sat right beside the tall one on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. It then started crawling and palpating the floor as if
it were looking for something. When the tall figure was laughing and
clapping the skinny figure started doing the same.




2. You can name the characters. If you don't want to use real names, try the characteristics.




Tall was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the room.
Skinny right beside it sat on a chair. It wasn't moving at all. Tall
moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating the wall
as if it was looking for something. Skinny then started crawling and
palpating the floor as if it were looking for something. Tall then
started laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were
overjoyed. Skinny hearing this started doing the same.




3. You can make them different genders. Instead of making them both "it" (with some accidental? "he" in there), make one "he" and one "she."




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. He stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. She wasn't
moving at all. He moved to the opposite side of the room and started
palpating the wall as if he was looking for something. She then
started crawling and palpating the floor as if she were looking for
something. He then started laughing loudly and clapping his hands as
if he were overjoyed. Hearing this, she started doing the same.







share|improve this answer
























  • I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

    – Ed Grimm
    58 mins ago











  • @EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

    – Cyn
    10 mins ago














4












4








4







You have a few choices here:



1. You can group each person's actions together more (I've also edited a couple errors).




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room then moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating
the wall, as if it was looking for something. Then it started
laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were overjoyed.



The skinny figure sat right beside the tall one on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. It then started crawling and palpating the floor as if
it were looking for something. When the tall figure was laughing and
clapping the skinny figure started doing the same.




2. You can name the characters. If you don't want to use real names, try the characteristics.




Tall was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the room.
Skinny right beside it sat on a chair. It wasn't moving at all. Tall
moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating the wall
as if it was looking for something. Skinny then started crawling and
palpating the floor as if it were looking for something. Tall then
started laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were
overjoyed. Skinny hearing this started doing the same.




3. You can make them different genders. Instead of making them both "it" (with some accidental? "he" in there), make one "he" and one "she."




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. He stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. She wasn't
moving at all. He moved to the opposite side of the room and started
palpating the wall as if he was looking for something. She then
started crawling and palpating the floor as if she were looking for
something. He then started laughing loudly and clapping his hands as
if he were overjoyed. Hearing this, she started doing the same.







share|improve this answer













You have a few choices here:



1. You can group each person's actions together more (I've also edited a couple errors).




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the
room then moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating
the wall, as if it was looking for something. Then it started
laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were overjoyed.



The skinny figure sat right beside the tall one on a chair. It wasn't
moving at all. It then started crawling and palpating the floor as if
it were looking for something. When the tall figure was laughing and
clapping the skinny figure started doing the same.




2. You can name the characters. If you don't want to use real names, try the characteristics.




Tall was overwhelmingly tall. It stood in the corner of the room.
Skinny right beside it sat on a chair. It wasn't moving at all. Tall
moved to the opposite side of the room and started palpating the wall
as if it was looking for something. Skinny then started crawling and
palpating the floor as if it were looking for something. Tall then
started laughing loudly and clapping its hands as if it were
overjoyed. Skinny hearing this started doing the same.




3. You can make them different genders. Instead of making them both "it" (with some accidental? "he" in there), make one "he" and one "she."




The tall figure was overwhelmingly tall. He stood in the corner of the
room. The skinny figure right beside him sat on a chair. She wasn't
moving at all. He moved to the opposite side of the room and started
palpating the wall as if he was looking for something. She then
started crawling and palpating the floor as if she were looking for
something. He then started laughing loudly and clapping his hands as
if he were overjoyed. Hearing this, she started doing the same.








share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered 3 hours ago









CynCyn

6,8871740




6,8871740













  • I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

    – Ed Grimm
    58 mins ago











  • @EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

    – Cyn
    10 mins ago



















  • I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

    – Ed Grimm
    58 mins ago











  • @EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

    – Cyn
    10 mins ago

















I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

– Ed Grimm
58 mins ago





I've used all of these techniques, and they feel like good techniques, so I've voted for this answer. But I'd still like more options to handle this situation if feasible. Sigh.

– Ed Grimm
58 mins ago













@EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

– Cyn
10 mins ago





@EdGrimm I'm not sure I have any. I have a scene in my novel where my main group of characters meets the other group and I use descriptions ("the woman with the blue headscarf") before anyone knows their names. It's a little awkward but the important thing is to be brief. The other alternative is not to care who does which action, just to leave it open.

– Cyn
10 mins ago










repomonster is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.










draft saved

draft discarded


















repomonster is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.













repomonster is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.












repomonster is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.
















Thanks for contributing an answer to Writing Stack Exchange!


  • Please be sure to answer the question. Provide details and share your research!

But avoid



  • Asking for help, clarification, or responding to other answers.

  • Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience.


To learn more, see our tips on writing great answers.




draft saved


draft discarded














StackExchange.ready(
function () {
StackExchange.openid.initPostLogin('.new-post-login', 'https%3a%2f%2fwriting.stackexchange.com%2fquestions%2f41557%2favoiding-repetition-when-there-are-two-unidentified-individuals%23new-answer', 'question_page');
}
);

Post as a guest















Required, but never shown





















































Required, but never shown














Required, but never shown












Required, but never shown







Required, but never shown

































Required, but never shown














Required, but never shown












Required, but never shown







Required, but never shown







Popular posts from this blog

Сан-Квентин

Алькесар

Josef Freinademetz