Gfrktyl

I have a severe progressive neurological disease and it's exceptionally painful. Current medical technology unfortunately is not able to provide much in the way of treatment or relief. Everyday things like eating, drinking, walking up the stairs, and doing lot of things varies from mildly to severely painful in addition to extremely fatiguing. And this often gets to the point that regular every day life is exceptionally depressing.

This has meant that things like dovening, putting on teffilin, going to shul, and lots of other mitsvos are extremely hard and painful. A long time ago I asked my Rebbe in yeshiva about this and he told me basically "tough luck". He wasn't empathetic at all.

However recently I was perusing Stack Exchange and I came upon a radical idea (from Alex) that sometimes there may be peturim / heterim for various things. The suggestion there varied from just minhogim to even some derebonons. See here: https://judaism.stackexchange.com/a/95530/17540

Additionally, is there a mokor to be excessively makel? I'm not talking about eating treif. But I am wondering if one can one look for the most makel shitoh among the poskim in a situation where doing something is very painful and/or exhausting. For example, if there is a single yaish omrim in the Taz, could I just rely on that even in a d'oriaso l'hokel when there is a huge amount of pain involved.

And more radically, are they times when for a d'rabonnon one can be potur l'gamrei? Perhaps the mitzvoh of arbah minnim could be done super quickly because the mitsvoh d'oraiso (IIRC) according to most rishonim is to just quickly hold the minim together for a short period of time.

I honestly, genuinely feel your pain and wish you relief as much as can be.

Firstly I would like to stay that: "Lfum tzara agra" - according to the effort is the reward. You should know that your efforts and pain do not go unnoticed and you do get immense, unfathomable reward for everything you do, especially if that effort is painful.

This is not the forum for discussing a personal psak. You need to talk to a competent Posek who is well-versed in medical conditions. You may need to speak with someone who is in a bigger city, or someone in Eretz Yisrael who would be able to paskin this sensitive issue.

Halacha is divided into what the Torah says, what Chazal say, what the Rishonim say, and what the Minhag is. It is also dependent upon the issue at hand, and whether or not you can handle this level of stringency.

As you correctly point out, without any details, you can't eat a ham-sandwich because 'you're in pain'. The Torah forbids eating pork. Now, if it is a life-threatening condition and you need to eat pork, then that is a different story.

That being said, there are many shitot (rulings and opinions) that may or may not be relied upon, given the circumstances in question.

Certainly, if you can stand during Kedusha, then that is better, but it is not necessarily in your best interests to do so. You need to talk to a competent posek and find out honestly which aspects of halacha you should be following to the letter, and which areas you should be doing that are meikal.

If someone is in so much pain that he cannot stand for an extended period, I don't see how that is in anyway not comparable to a traveler - who is also required to sit and pray because his mind is not able to concentrate fully on tefilla.

The Shulchan Aruch is laid out in a way that shows the 'm'ikkar hadin' - the actual halacha, what is generally accepted practice (for Sefardim or Ashkenazim - outlined in the Rama), and often whether or not one can be lenient - for example - a great monetary loss, or a mitzvah.

Yes there are cases for being as you say: 'excessively meikal', however, these are very extenuating circumstances, and therefore, it is absolutely essential you speak with a posek.

For example, when it comes to a chicken that is being checked for treifos, the halacha depends upon whether or not one is checking for someone who would suffer substantially from the loss or not. In your case, the excruciating pain may indeed be a reason for you to be meikal.

It seems to me that you've had a run-in with a Rav. I'm suggesting that you do not speak to a Rav, but a Posek. This is someone who can take achrayus for you.

I would also say that unless you've done shimush and understand the way the poskim write, that you cannot simply pull out a daas yochid on a Taz and hold by him. I would suggest you learn halacha with someone who is experienced with shailos, so that you can start learning yourself. I would also find out which seforim you can rely on for your shailos.

On a theoretical level: For practical applications, talk to a Rabbi who knows Halacha. (Not every Rebbi in a yeshiva qualifies. as you've discovered.)

Halacha is full of the concept of במקום צער - when pain is involved. A lot of laws change when pain is involved.

Sometimes even mental anguish is sufficient a reason to not be obligated to pray, for example.

As you already proposed, the idea is to try to do the Torah core Mitzva - like hold the 4 species for a few moments on Sukkoth - and to skip the non-essential parts, like holding them for the entire Hallel.

Possibly - in this example - you may even be allowed to hold each of the 4 species individually, one at a time, for a few moments, and still fulfill your Torah obligation and even be able to say the Bracha.

Each painful act would need to be tackled individually to see how to minimize the pain and maximize the Mitzva - what you need is a world class Posek- here are some issues you could tackle with him:

• Do you really have to go to shul? Every day? thrice daily? If you can't, which of the times is more important?


• Do you have to put on Tefillin every day? Maybe somebody can wrap them on you gently without any action on your part? Are you even allowed to wear Tefilin if you're in excruciating pain? What parts of davening are the most important to have your Tefillin on for? Can you wear either the Shel-Yad (hand) or Shel-Rosh (arm) Tefilla without the other? Maybe wear both for a few moments and then take off the painful one?


• Do you have to hold all 4 Minim together? For how long? Can you make a Bracha if you hold each one individually? How small could a set fo 4-Minim be and still be Kosher?


• Is there a Mitzva to visit depressed people? How often? Should one inform people one qualifies for such visits?

I only want to stress Danny's point of the purpose of observing Mitzvos:

Point 1: "לפום צערא אגרא"

1. This world is called עולם התיקון, so it is intended to fix some things broken. The Mitzvos are intended to be an instrument to those fixes, each Mitzvah working in its ways.




2. There are two approaches to how Mitzvos work (very roughly): one says it's "black and white" - you either perform the Mitzvah and the Tikkun or not, and the other says it's "לפום צערא אגרא" - the [fix] reward is according to one's effort.




3. Following the later we can say that one who puts a lot of effort and does only a part of a Mitzvah performs a bigger Tikkun that one who does the whole Mitzvah effortlessly.

Point 2: אונס רחמנא פטריה

1. Every person has limitations, and pain is one of them and it does not matter who or what inflicts the pain.




2. As for all other אונסים inflicted by others, it is up to the subject to decide on his compliance/observance as an אנוס. Therefore one can decide for himself how much pain he's willing to bear and keep Mitzvos accordingly.